A new baby is often a source of great joy for most families.. usually, new moms look to their friends, older relatives and even google for baby related advise.
For quite a lot of women, the advice they get is often unsolicited, outdated and ill suited because each baby is different.
Thankfully, there are now many resources for learning about parenting but a new mum may still be confused about the unsolicited advice she gets.
Some of this advise maybe from a good place but it may still leave you angry and frustrated. Imagine being told that you’re a bad parent or you’re not doing enough.Or that your baby isn’t eating enough or looks skinny.
In some cases, the adviser nowamagbe might even tell you they are better parents than you(we’ve all being there)!
Here are some tips for handling unsolicited advice and doing what works the best and is comfortable for you:
Stay calm and listen
Although this is easier said than done, keeping calm and not attacking the adviser will ensure you retain your sanity and keep your relationships. Remember that some of these persons believe they are helping you. So it doesn’t hurt if you listen to them calmly and then respond keeping an open mind.
Educate yourself
This ensures you are armed with correct information to prove your point and such a person would likely quickly avoid the subject if they see you know what Ure talking about.
Pick your battles
Politely listen, Smile, thank them or fight your battle for your baby and you. It is really up to you to decide whether you actually do what they advised or not.
People love to question every decision a new mom takes like breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, or c section vs natural birth. They need to be reminded that it’s your motherhood and every decision you take should be respected.
Tell them that times have changed
Things that used to work in the past probably don’t work anymore because of advancement in science and tech.
Give firm replies
Examples to finally put an end to it include:
“ Sorry but our doctor does not advise this ”
Most people will not question what the doctors say.
“This is what works for us”
It reminds them that it’s working well for you and the baby and their advice would not make any difference.
“Thank you for sharing your advice.”
You could also change the topic of discussion
Explain
Make them understand that every baby is different and so is every family. Just because something worked for their baby doesn’t mean it will work for every baby on the planet.
Conclusion
What unsolicited advise have you gotten about your baby and how did you handle it? I’m excited to hear about your experience in the comment section below.